Shoes to Shiraz Self-Care Series: Friendships


They are the women I turn to when I need advice or when I feel like bragging about my accomplishments.
They are the ones who knew me in my teens, walked beside me in my 20s and now are wrapping up the 30s with me.
These women are the ones I quietly observe, taking note of their doings as mothers with pride that they are my people because they are damn good moms and wonderful role models.
These women are my sisters; They are my family.

A huge part of self-care to me is being with my friends and I am so in tune with that fibre of my being that when things in life start turning sour, I immediately crave a night out with my girls.

Many of the resources I have read (okay, just one: I have only read Girl, Wash Your Face recently) state that we need to unlearn our bad coping being an emotional eater (ahem, me) or drinking (I like wine) and instead we should deal with things by doing something healthy like going for a run, having sex or spending time with our friends.  Because I hate running and I'm definitely not dishing about sex on the blog (you're welcome, mom)- I figured I could most certainly cover my favourite of all self-care activities: investing in my friendships.

Every gaggle of girlfriends has its own culture and that valuable time with your friends will look different for everyone.  Let me tell you how our little tribe has managed to stay close over 30 years and what we do to keep it that way:

Typically we go out for supper.  Usually at Red Lobster, thanks to Alynne's obsession with garlic shrimp.  Often we'll go to the movies.  In the summer we walk and talk.  That's us.  There's no late night partying and rarely are there hangovers.  We just crave being around each other.  Every year we go on an annual shopping trip to Edmonton and a couple times Calgary.  This year because we aren't going until November (hello, Justin Timberlake concert and shopping trip) we thought we needed a little getaway to break up the long wait until the next girl time.  We knew we had to fit in something before summer got away with us, so it just so happened that we could celebrate Alynne's birthday with our typical dinner out but also have a little staycation at a local hotel.

And this is where my self-care and take care of my friends gene kicked in and away I got planning.

Me??? Planning things? Gasp.

I booked us a suite at the James Hotel, a boutique hotel on the riverbank in Saskatoon where I knew we'd feel pampered.  I can only dole out compliments for this hotel- I need to stay there again.  It's so quiet and small and fancy and grande and the views....the views from our balcony were amazing.

We're also 800% sure that Shania Twain was staying in the Penthouse as the hotel was swarming with her dancers and back up singers for the concert the next day.  We also dined at breakfast right next to the premier.

Because it also happened to be Mother's Day weekend and well, let's face it, husbands don't always live up to our expectations for that day- I thought I'd throw in something special for them.

I like feeling special, but I like making people feel loved even more.  So a huge part of my self-care is taking care of my friends.
Does that even make sense? 
I feel good when I get to do something nice for someone, it makes me feel like I'm bettering the lives of others.  The whole point of self care is to take care of yourself...but a huge part of me needs to feel like I'm contributing to the betterment of something.  So I take it out on my friends.

Each friend got a graphic tee that you would only understand if you were from Prince Albert like us.  A friend's wife made them and I knew the minute I saw them that my PA tribe had to have them.

For my birthday, my sister got me a beautiful circle pennant from The Silver Wren...I loved the simplicity of it and then found this rock and knew immediately that they had to have them, because really, it couldn't ring more true.  They are my rocks.

Our 24 hours together were spent how we typically spend all our time together- eating, laughing, drinking, reminiscing and resting.  Somehow even after only a couple of hours in the presence of these remarkable women I feel renewed.  I feel stronger.  I feel brave and courageous and proud of who I am.  Spending time with my friends lifts me up and helps me remember that I'm much more than just a mom.

Time with my friends is one of the most basic and easiest forms of self-care.  I hope you can find some time with your tribe too.

As for you Christy, we were all sad you couldn't be with us...but we'll make up for it this weekend.

You can read my previous self-care post on meditation here.  Any suggestions for another self-care topic?


  1. I love this so much. You have such great friendships, and are such a good friend. and I'm glad you wrote that you needed to be from Prince Albert to know that shirt, because I was like...huh? I don't get it. Have fun with Christy! :)

  2. Aww, you are such a fabulous friend!

  3. This is amazing. What a wonderful friend you are. You are lucky to have such a good girl group but they are equally lucky to have you. also yay for mothers day with mothers instead of husbands LOL!

  4. Looks like such a fun night. Very sad to have missed it but equally as excited to have you all to myself for 2 days!

  5. Awww I love this and so wish I had a tribe of girlfriends! You are so very blessed!

  6. As a mom deep in the relentless trenches, take ALL THE TIME. It’s hard feeling lost in a role and you need to do whatever it is that reminds you you’re so much more than that.

  7. Love this and am a little envious all that you guys manage to do each year. I feel like investing in my friendships is up there with investing in my marriage and family. My oldest and closest friends know me deeply and I need them to fulfill me in ways other people can't, and same for the friendships I've grown as an adult. Everyone we hold dear to our hearts has a way of making us the best versions of ourselves and I don't ever want to lose that. Good for you ladies for making each other a priority. Life is better with friends.


Have a lovely day!

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