And that's a wrap, folks.

by - June 29, 2018


 A year an a half ago I walked away from classroom teaching.
Today is my last day of cyber teaching.
And while the idea of not working anymore sounds like perfection, the road to wrapping my brain around it wasn't as easy.

In my head, from the beginning of my teaching career, I never had the intentions to complete the full 30ish years one puts in.  I figured I would bow out around year 15 figuring that I would be over it and ready for new endeavours.  I never wanted to be the teacher that kids made fun of or disliked and that was when I knew that I would be ready to leave.


It didn't really work out that way though.  When Skip sold in 2016, I was given the opportunity to drop everything if I wanted.  I wasn't ready to do that yet though.  I still loved my job, loved my students and was feeling inspired by what I was creating.  But the idea of not being tied to a classroom was appealing as I always felt guilty missing my kids' activities or having to book a sub. So dropping classroom teaching won and I'm glad I did it.  Yes, I missed people and my colleagues and seeing my students grow, but I loved working part time with cyber and found I could finally balance everything.


We're at a point now in our life where I'm ready to give up my cyber.  I'm completely at peace with it now and happy but it was hard to get there.   I struggle with losing something that has defined who I am for 17 years.  I feel like I need an answer for when people ask: so what do you do?    I was always proud to say that I'm a high school french teacher.  Now I need to have a new answer to that question and to be honest, I'm unsure what it will be.

I know I don't want to jump into anything quite yet.  I want to be a mom and be 100% present in their lives.  I want to make healthy meals, keep the house organized, be supportive to my husband and take care of myself.   And while I feel that sounds a little old-fashioned, and this is where I really struggle,  if I'm being 100% honest with you, it's exactly where I want to be.  So clearly I need to get over whatever it is that is stopping me from owning that and making it mine.


So here I am, wrapping up my last day of cyber and ready to completely let go of something that has been my life since 2001.  I am in the process of moving from fear and apprehension to peace and will be ready for whatever doors open when I'm ready for a new adventure.  But for the time being, you will find me enjoying my family, doing some traveling, building a new home, weeding the garden, finding more time for the things that bring me joy like writing on this blog, getting the to-do list done of all the things I have been wanting to do and never had the time and basically redefining who I am.
No biggie.
I gots this.

Photo creds: Lovely Roots Photography
Dress: Anthropologie last year.   Similar:




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19 comments

  1. Momma....these pictures of you are GORGEOUS!!! Best wishes as you enjoy the momlife 100% for awhile!

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  2. These photos are stunning. The lighting is perfection and so is the gal in the photos.

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  3. You are exactly where you need to be. Best thing I ever did was follow my joy! Even though the kids are older I feel I am the BEST mom and wife I’ve ever been. We’re so darn happy and you know as I do, blessed to have this opportunity. AND you’re gorgeous in gingham!

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    1. Yup, I hear you on the following your joy bit. I'm sure I'll be texting you tons while I get used to this

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  4. You are beautiful inside and out and yes, I agree. The struggle is realizing this is where you want to be and it is wonderful! Love ya friend. Can’t wait to see where this new part of life takes you.

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    1. I am certain I am exactly where I need to be.

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  5. GOOD FOR YOU DEENA!!! The years I didn't work and stayed home with my boys were the best years of my life, you never regret that. Enjoy every minute!
    xo,
    Kellyann

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  6. Um those photos...swooon!!!! Love every single one of them. And quite honestly I could have written this same exact thing. I feel like I'm ready to leave work, but not ready to see who I am outside of not working...most likely I'll be more busy than I was before! But you got this, you can tell everyone you're moving to cali to be near me! and Disneyland, hehe. :) Love you girl! You'll be fab at whatever you do!

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  7. These pictures captured your inner and outer beauty perfectly. So stunning. I struggled with staying home in the beginning - but it's the best decision I ever made, and I still think so today. You will be awesome at whatever you do!

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Have a lovely day!