This is 39.


Today is my birthday.

It is officially my last year in the dirty 30s; next year I graduate to the big leagues- the mostly feared /loathed 40s.
I feel like I have spent the last 9 years both defining and losing myself.



I wrapped my brain around being a mom in my 30s. I gained 2 beautiful children but also weight.
I experienced some of my greatest teaching moments and also said goodbye to my career.
I fell more in love with my husband, honoured my family and stayed true to my friends.

But at the same time with all that goodness, I spent a lot of time doing things for others and lost contact with myself. 
I got too busy.
Don't we all do that at some point in life? When do we ever get that person/time back?

We have this version of ourselves that we're striving for that is possibly imaginary and practically unattainable. You know the narrative:
It's the if onlys that occupy our mind.

The if only I had the body I had when I was 20.  My God, if only I could jump as high as I could when I was 18 without my knees breaking.  If only my skin was as clear and tight and glowy as it was 5 years ago.

We're constantly looking back, wishing for something that is as far out of our reach as high, firm boobs and non-jiggly arms are.

Thusly, I have decided that starting now, I'm going to spend the preparation for this next decade looking forward.  My 40s are when I will rediscover who it is that I am actually becoming.  I will embrace the hobbies that cater to my creative spirit.  I will let go of the people, things, habits that were of my youth that don't serve me now.  I will unabashedly say no to things I don't want to do while whole-heartedly and intentionally committing to projects that bring light to my spirit and perk to my step.  I will continue to cherish the friendships that have faithfully walked beside me and put all my heart into my family.

I'm not scared of 39.  Too many special people in my life didn't make it to 39 and don't have this honour and privilege to walk amongst the living.

So there you have it, my anthem for this year. 

This is 39







17 comments

  1. HAPPY BIRTHDAY my beautiful friend!! 39 is an awesome year but I am here to tell you, your 40's are even better so you have so much to look forward to! Enjoy this day, heck, enjoy the whole month celebrating the Amazing and Talented woman you are!! The world is a better place with the DEE-lightful Deena in it!!! BIG Birthday HUGS!

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  2. happy birthday!! My 40's have been some of the most beautiful days of my life and mainly because I finally found myself, accepted who I really am and decided I liked myself!

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  3. I love this and you my friend! Happy birthday to you!!!! Wish I were sharing a big glass of red with you ๐Ÿ˜‰๐Ÿ˜˜

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  4. "Where else would you rather be than right here, right now." is what I have always believed in. Actually, I started to believe that in my 40's. I have about eight months to go in my 40's and it has got better each year. I discovered who I truly am and rolled with it. I am who I a, stopped trying to please others and just started to "please the feller in the mirror", It is a great feeling.

    Happy Blessed Birthday to you.

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  5. Happy happy birthday my beautiful friend! I love this quest you are embarking on as you turn 39 and can't wait to follow your journey. And for the record, your skin is still glowy.

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  6. Happy happy birthday! I love this new quest of yours. I might have to join in this quest on my 39th, in a few months... :) Love you and everything that you are. Looking forward to you finding you.

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  7. Same song... I have a friend who loves me, got a house, I’ve got a car. I like the colour of my hair. Yup! You have got it all! LOVE YOU!!! Bonne fรชte ma belle!

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  8. Your attitude is right on!

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  9. Happy Birthday!! Wishing you a beautiful fresh new year of life ahead!
    - Brenda // ChattingOverChocolate.com

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  10. Happy Birthday, dear Friend! I, too, have gotten lost in being busy - not spending enough time with family - so I loved reading this and your reflections!

    Lisa
    Daily Style Finds

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  11. Love that Jann Arden quote, she is the best!! Happy Birthday!

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  12. I so don't want to be 40. I have a problem. lol

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  13. I love your anthem! Yes, my thirties sounded a lot like yours and my 40's were richer and better. I'm turning 50 very soon and I'm excited about that. It's a new time in my life where my husband and I will be empty nesters! Enjoy!!!
    xo,
    Kellyann

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  14. Happy birthday Dee. You young strong. You sound self-assured. You sound mature and wise (in a good way). Lately I've been inspired by the song The Good Old Days and really trying to apprcappre this time and that eventually these stories will also become classified as "as the good old days".

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  15. This is a beautiful post. Cheers to your 39th year, my friend!

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  16. Well hello 39!! don’t you look good :) I’m 35, I’ll be 36 in November and I’m enjoying the aging process. I thought I would have a husband and kids but that hasn’t happened yet, and that’s ok. I love all your throw back pictures.

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Have a lovely day!

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