SHE who influences me

by - May 14, 2017

For Mother's Day I went for a pedicure date with my Lucy and sitting across from us was a 4 generational family of women also celebrating a day for Mothers.  As I sat there listening to the easy banter and pride going back and forth between the Grandma and Granddaughter, I couldn't help but be sad for our family, as our Grandmothers are no longer around.  And I felt even sadder for Lucia, who absolutely adored her Grams.

I couldn't help but be brought into the conversation that the Grandma was having with the aesthetician as she was sharing her memories of growing up: rumpus room parties with friends, the nights out dancing, all the self-sufficient farming and playing cards. It reminded me so much of how Grandma would tell stories about her youth and it made me grateful that we did have a lot of that down on paper so if I really wanted to delve into her narrative, I could.  But the whole hour left me feeling very nostalgic and empty.

I guess I shouldn't say empty, because it's not that I'm missing something.  We had many great years with these women; my heart is full of wonderful memories.  And I still have many strong women role models in my life.  But Mother's Day is one of those days that just make me think of the people who are missing too...the Grandmas, the friends who have lost their moms or the friends who have lost a child.  All of these people, whether they are with us in real life or with us spiritually, come to shape us in the Mothers that we, in turn, become.

The women in my life have had such a huge influence on who I am as a mother and to me, it is very easy to see how I emulate them in my values and actions:

I family the way my Grandma Diehl familied: she firmly believed in putting in the time with your people, regardless the busy-ness of life,  and that was the best way to build relationships.
I Christmas the way both my Grandmas Christmassed: I love to host, but I'm just short of leaving the tree up year round like Grandma Diehl.
I take charge the way Grandma Park took charge: she was the queen bee and everyone knew it.  Plans were to be made, people were to be included and time was etched out for family.
I organize the way my Grandma Diehl organized:  I remember having conversations with her growing up and she was always two paragraphs ahead of me.  The lady always thought of everything and no detail or person was overlooked.
I'm quiet but social the way my Grandma Park was: one of her favourite thing was to just go for car rides and she was always around us, but usually just silently keeping watch.  But she also loved being surrounded by her people, regardless of that fact.  She hated missing things, but also had an introvert side to her.

And what I find really neat is how that generation passed down the mothering onto my mom and I can see bits and pieces of who she is and how she was raised in her mothering and now grandmothering.  My mom is thoughtful, selfless and kind.  She still, after all these years, puts us first and will come help at the drop of a hat if we need it.  She is an outstanding woman and I am so grateful to call her my mom.  I also can't wait to experience Scotland with her later this month as she makes her first overseas trip! I didn't get to see her on Mother's Day but plan to treat her to something fun on our trip.

Lastly, I can't not include my sister on my rambles about how my family have influenced me.  My little sister, who was raised in the same environment as me and has turned out to be one of the most influential women in my life by far.  She is strong, she is devoted, she leads a life filled to the brim with love and I silently love to observe her (taking notes along the way) and find ways to be more like her.

So many people shape us, in fact, I could really continue this post on to the friends in my life....but alas it's getting late and there's wine to drink.    So on this day of mamahood, I say cheers to the great women of influence in our lives!

-DeeDeeMomMom (Jamison's new name for me)

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Have a lovely day!