Friday, I'm in love

What would you do if you were given the option of not having to work?  The opportunity to dream?  The chance to do something you've always wanted to do, without worry of risk?

I always thought that if that ever happened in my life that I would have an endless list of endeavours and adventures impatiently waiting at the door, begging to be picked.  Art...music...photography...videography...event planning...personal shopper...shoe poet? non? is that not a thing? I feel I could write shoe haikus and sell them...shoekus, if you may.  Anyway - my mind has been everywhere ever since I honed in to my creative side- I have never had a shortage of hobbies that I thought I could turn into jobs.

And now, here I am sitting with the opportunity of a lifetime, and I can't come up with a damn thing that I want to do.  Maybe it's because I know how hard and how much that Dan, his brothers and their team had to work to grow their start up, that I'm left slightly more terrified of doing my own thing.  I don't think I have the energy to put into that or believe in something enough to go where they've gone.  Or most likely I don't have the attention span.......but mostly I think it's just the general busy-ness of life that has me realizing that I don't need something else.  Not yet anyway.

Largely, I think that there's still a part of me that's not quite yet ready to give up what I've worked 20 years to create: a career as a French Immersion teacher.  We knew back in the fall, when this deal was a possibility, that me leaving the classroom would be the first big change, so I've had a lot of time to wrap my brain around it.  But the thing is, is that I always said I would quit teaching when I knew I couldn't relate to the kids anymore and I really don't feel I'm there yet.  I LIKE my students. My students love Kylie lipkits, I love Kylie lipkits.  I enjoy seeing my former grade 9s all grown up or seeing former students and not remembering when they graduated and low and behold, they are teaching at Lucia and Willis' school.  I love that I can keep up with my students after they graduate !  15 years has breezed by...2 years at my alma mater teaching my brother and Dan's siblings...3 years teaching elementary at the school my kids currently go to and then 10 years at Cross, minus 2 mat leaves....it has gone by in a blink and I feel the other half would have too.  But really, when presented with the chance to not work, knowing all the baggage and all the corrections and all the worry that comes with classroom teaching, I knew that it had to be the first to go.  I will be keeping my part time cyber because it really is the biggest blessing in my world- techy + french + I can do it anywhere/anytime? Hello dream job.  So with that, a chapter closes.



It closes, but won't be easily forgotten.  I did, in fact try to step away from teaching a couple years ago when I was really ready to be done.  But when I looked to quit teaching, the cyber position fell from somewhere, (obviously heaven or maybe Narnia?) and I took that on while being home with Lucia...and then lo and behold, Dan decides to quit his job and join Skipthedishes full time, which scared me thusly sending me back to the classroom and full time teaching because #guaranteedincome...maybe it was a sign. Maybe it was all meant to be and look where we've found ourselves now, the risk paid off and I'm free to dream again.  We've come full cycle and I'm ready to jump off while at the top of my game.  I keep this box of all my favourite teaching memories..cute notes from kids, cards, old pictures and it is filled with great memories that make me smile and make me feel proud of what I've done.  So don't mind me if I re-read that chapter of my life every so often, as I often do with my favourite books.

So what will the new normal look like?  Really I am just gaining a couple hours of freedom during the day, so I'll continue to drive the kids to school and pick them up and then the inbetweens will be spent at the gym, working on my cyber and getting errands done.   Otherwise I'm going to keep dreaming, and picturing what that next chapter looks like for me.  Currently I dream of growing my blog, I dream of publishing something, I also dream often of owning a clothing store.  Maybe I'll become a master budgeteer because you know I have #madskillz if you read my post on Monday. Look, I even have an agenda to keep track of spending, in the goal of living more mindfully.



To be honest, for the time being I'm just going to ride this wave of emotion (how can one be so sad yet so happy for an ending?) and I know that once I've gotten used to my new routine and figured out where my brain is, then great things will come.  What would you do if you could do anything?



Happy Friday.



And you can hop over to the Blended Blog where I'm sharing my favourite findings on the webs this week.



Comments

  1. Oh wow!! I didn't know all this was happening, my dear! A new chapter indeed. All the very best! Xoxox

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  2. Happy new beginning!!!!! I can't wait to see what unfolds for you!

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  3. Living on Cloud Nine19 January, 2017 22:35

    Think of all the lives you have touched, means so much! And now it is D time, time for you and your family to grow and enjoy and savor!! Cheers to this new chapter...it's going to be best seller!! :-)

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  4. Good luck on your new journey!!

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  5. Aww friend. Woke up with you on my mind this morning. You are so instrumental in my teaching practice, from the very beginning and I am so lucky to count you a friend. All beginnings are sad and scary. I think no one tells us that. Love you.

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  6. Good luck on your new venture!! I can't wait to see how it unfolds for you!!

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  7. Come visit me more. That is a nice dream :)

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  8. Oh friend...I think I would be feeling exactly the same as you...sad and happy at the same time! I can retire in 4 years from my current job. If I chose to it would be my big chance to do something I have always dreamed of doing...if only I could grasp what the heck that really is!! Take your time and do it right...whatever you decide!

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  9. Ooff, this hits close to home. I've thought about leaving teaching before because of all the stress and worrying that goes along with it but something has always stopped me. But I've felt those same mixed emotions as you and give you SO much credit for taking the leap! I can't wait to see where this adventure takes you!

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  10. This post just went straight to my heart. I feel like your step away from classroom teaching is like my step away from "momming" 24/7. It's scary and sad and confusing - but also exciting and happy. You're leaving behind something you love, but the possibilities are endless. I cannot wait to see what your future holds.

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  11. Oh my gosh, I'm SO jealous! I would give anything to quit my corporate job to be able to pursue my dreams. I'm working so hard now to get to that point, but who knows if it will ever even happen. The difference between you and me, though, is that I hate my job. Since you love yours, that would be a really hard decision to make!

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  12. You have no doubt made a lasting impact on so many lives. I wish you the best in your next endeavor...whatever it may be!

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  13. I'm so excited for you friend! You are going to do great things, you are a go getter and can conquer anything you set your mind to! I'm looking forward to watching and of course cheering you on from the sidelines, and maybe, just maybe you'll come to my neck of the world :)

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  14. I totally understand this post. I quit practicing awhile back and now it's like, wth am I going to do? Find a job soon, lol. Or have a baby. Or just endlessly shop???? I DON'T KNOW DUDE!!!

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  15. I totally understand the love of students and leaving the classroom. All will work out in time. You'll see!

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  16. I can relate to this post so much! I love teaching, but mom guilt has got me right now. How exciting for you! But also, teaching takes up such a LARGE place in our hearts that I can only imagine how hard it would be to leave. The possibilities are endless! How exciting!

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  17. I understand where you are coming from. I quit my full time job a year and a half ago. At first it was so weird being home all day and not having that "rush" feeling where there was not enough time in the day to get everything done. Now, it's just wonderful. I love being home.

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  18. This post gave me all the feelings. So excited to see where riding this wave takes you.

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  19. All the best, Deena - you will figure it out - give it time.

    Lisa
    Daily Style Finds

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  20. Ugh, that mom guilt..it's everywhere, isn't it.

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  21. I have a feeling that's exactly how I'll be feeling soon!

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  22. I was at that hate my job point last time I tried to leave...crazy how I ended back there and ended loving it again.

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  23. So much stress, right? How long have you been teaching?

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  24. Aw, thank you. I"m so glad our paths crossed so long ago.

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  25. I think you may be feeling a little like I did at retirement. Not sure what I was supposed to be doing. Feeling guilty watching PC go to work. Missing books and babies. Knowing I could finally craft, write, read, scrapbook and yet being semi-paralyzed to do anything. Allow yourself some time and grace. Everything will fall into place. XO

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Have a lovely day!