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Quiet

[dropcap]I [/dropcap]had the night all planned out and it was obviously going to be perfect: the kids were getting cultured, we got to spend some time with my parents and I was finally getting a chance to see the Saskatoon Symphony bugs-logo-2-150x150perform.  We were even bringing Kinsey along to the event as an early birthday present.  But then the kids had one of those days were they are just out of whack, resulting in things not going at the level of awesome I had imagined.

[Tweet "Things rarely go the way you envision them, do they? I suppose that's called parenthood? "] They tell you you're having a boy and it's a girl.  You dream of being the baseball mom and coach and the little turkey plays soccer.  Their favourite meal is roast beef, so you slave all day just to make them happy and then suddenly, they hate it.  It happens to the best of us.

My kids have their moments too, but it is rare that I have a situation where I am that close to walking out on an event, or a grocery cart because of my kids' behaviour.  Saturday night was that night.  If it hadn't been for the amazing show (seriously had chills when they started playing the Warner Bros. music) and my mom and Kinsey were having a perfectly lovely time, I would have brought them both home and lost my marbles on them.  I do have to remember that they were tired but it was still a very frustrating night and I was definitely upset with them.  After we had dropped Kinsey and my mom off, I gave them a piece of my mind.

I was upset that they couldn't follow simple expectations (don't cry in the middle of the Barber of Seville overture) and that they were unable to stop bickering even for .2 seconds (over armrests. seriously)  I told them I was disappointed in them, that they hadn't even said thank you for the night and that all I had wanted was a nice night out with them, so that they could experience classical music live, set to some hilariously retro cartoons that I had grown up loving.  Saturday mornings now aren't the same.  We didn't even have a remote. Or more than 13 channels for that matter.

[caption id="attachment_6593" align="aligncenter" width="1024"]Perfectly shows the mood: Kinsey is a doll, Mom is putting on a brave face, Lucia is pouting and Willis is hiding behind me because NO PICTURES, EVER, MOM. ROAR. Perfectly shows the mood: Kinsey is a doll, Mom is putting on a brave face (and may kill me for posting this one but it was too perfect not to), Lucia is pouting and Willis is hiding behind me because NO PICTURES, EVER, MOM. ROAR. SIGH. EYE ROLL.[/caption]

So ya, I freaked out and they listened.  Willis tried to argue a couple times, but I would have none of that, they needed to hear me.   And they did. Well at least I hope they did.

And then there was quiet.  We drove from my sister's house home in quiet.  For 20 peaceful minutes. I'm not sure if it was the "too freaked out to say anything because I think she's REALLY mad" quiet or that they had actually fallen asleep, but that doesn't matter because it was peaceful. Finally.  And slowly and surely, because of that time spent in solitude, a sense of ease swept over me.  I suddenly felt calm and I started to forget why I was so mad in the first place.  The kids seemed quite cute again (instead of batshitcrazy) and I wanted to cuddle them (instead of sell them.)  That's the magical power of taking a step out of the moment and calming yourself and maybe it is a hidden bonus for me that we moved out to the acreage and that I am forced to spend some quiet time in the car everydat.  It really gives you perspective.

[caption id="attachment_6590" align="aligncenter" width="683"]Kid Fashion She has her own sense of style and I am not going to shush that one[/caption]

[caption id="attachment_6591" align="aligncenter" width="1024"]They did have their moments of cute. And my mom is VERY excited here... They did have their moments of cute. And my mom is VERY excited here...[/caption]

My Lenten goal was to work on becoming a better me and I have been looking at all aspects of who I am.  So in exploring the mental aspect of life, I know that when I get frustrated that taking a step out of the moment and walking it off really helps.  I know that I get overwhelmed with things.people.crowds.life.laundry.Instagram Feeds. and sometimes just need to wave my hands in the air like I just don't care.  But the big one that I've been learning is the necessity of quiet in my life and that my quiet takes different forms.  Sometimes it is equivical to exercise. I really wish it would be more.  It may be a Starbucks and mall walk. Sometimes it means just being with the women in my life that lift me up, like we did on Friday for Candace's birthday and like we will do again next weekend at a Solar Garden, making succulents.  I am also figuring out how my hobbies have an affect on my peace of mind...but more on how blogging is peaceful and yet not at all peaceful next week.

[caption id="attachment_6589" align="aligncenter" width="600"]The oldest of us. The oldest of us.[/caption]

And sometimes it just means turning my phone off and cuddling up in the corner with a book.  Living on the acreage has been a real game changer in the peacefulness realm.  I can't even begin to tell you how the beauty of the sunrise and set, or the peace in the songs of the birds and wind on the deck can do for my soul.

 

What do you do to gain your peace of mind and take a step out of the crazy?

 

Comments

  1. Katie Mitchell13 March, 2016 22:51

    Awesome post Deena!! That's really cool that they even have a show like that!! I hadn't heard of that...hope it comes our way! Glad you were able to find some peace on that ride home! And how cute is your mom? So stylish! Love Christy's new look by the way!! Great Job!!

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  2. I love love love reading your posts like this... maybe because I see so much of myself in this. In all the crazy it's so very easy to get overwhelming. Frig, I'm tearing up (f(&#ing time change). Anyways, those moments, the quiet ones are so very needed.
    Happy monday - here's to a week filled with caffeine, wine and quiet moments.

    Simply Shaunacey

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  3. Living on Cloud Nine14 March, 2016 01:31

    Love love love this too!! You handled it like a champ and bless the quiet bliss to give mama the recharge she needs!! The crazy can be overwhelming then just like that the tide changes. Hope this week is full of blissful moments and a lil less crazy.

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  4. This is so good Deena. A little quiet always puts things in perspective when the noise gets to be too much. And sometimes our kids need to HEAR from their mama, uninterrupted, and then have time to think about it. It's how they grow. I adore Lucia's style, and the pictures from your Symphony night are adorable!

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  5. I'm with the other ladies, love this! Sometimes our expectations and reality are totally different and I have to remember that my kids are only 2 and 5. Last Friday on my day off, it started super rough! Mini Fox was just horrible, I was losing my cool and I wanted to quit. Seriously I texted Mr. I wanted to quit because she was being so rough. Then 15 minutes later, a time out in her crib and me walking away for a minute was all I needed to regain my composure and start the day again. Anyway, the show does sound fantastic! I want to see it too!

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  6. Those little faces are so cute. But I'm sure they can drive you mad too :) Hope your week goes OK!

    Shauna

    www.lipglossandlace.net

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  7. Thank you for sharing what being a parent is all about. It's not perfect. Sometimes it can be frustrating, disappointing, but in the end it is pure happiness. Dealing with it all can be rough, but those quiet moments really help!

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  8. So true and we see the perfect snapshot of the whole shabang. Thanks for sharing this, friend. I feel torn about blogging being peaceful/quiet and not. When it is peaceful and quiet, I like to blog but sometimes I get overwhelmed and feel like there is so much being said that I have nothing to add to it and the social media aspect is so loud. UGH. Very interested to get your perspective soon.

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  9. Hugs. that down time is so very necessary but also it's key to be able to recognize when you are losing your marbles. I speak from experience.

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  10. I had never heard of it either and am so glad that we went...it was awesome. Also, mom is totally sporting the patterns and neutrals look for 2 weeks from now...

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  11. Quiet bliss. That's exactly what it is!

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  12. I love the point that you raise about them needing to hear us. So very true!

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  13. Cute but also crazy. If that's a thing. I seriously have been thinking about your yellow shoes all day, so the day has been great! yay for shoes!

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  14. Time away definitely helps, as I type this the kids are fighting, AGAIN, in the basement. I may need to go out on the deck for a bit. UGH.

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  15. You and me...chatting about all things blog in T-2.5 days.

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  16. Definitely frustrating and awesome all in one- I am sooooo happy that I have this outlet to keep me sane!

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  17. Hahaha... glad things settled down and your daughter is such a cute little fashionista!!!
    Great photos!!!


    Amber
    All the Cute
    Today's Post: Edgy Florals...

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  18. Thank you for this honest post. I love seeing all the sides of you in real life. xoxo

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  19. "I wanted to cuddle them (instead of sell them)." HA. This is such a relateable post, lady- thanks for sharing it!

    -Ashley
    Le Stylo Rouge

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  20. Sometimes it's hard to remember while our kids may act older, they are still kids. The quite time really helps you get things back into perspective! Lucia is such a little fashionista!

    Jill
    Doused In Pink

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  21. Hi there, Deena. I'm your neighbor at #TuesdayTalk. Funny you wrote on quiet, because my post this week is on PEACE and Quiet. Yes, things don't go as planned when you have kids, not even when they're teens!

    When I need some quiet, I take a walk. Or sit down a minute inside if it's too hot outside. Or pray, "God, pour your peace and quiet over me." I've heard of people actually sitting and being QUIET, say for 15 minutes a day, doing nothing, but I never really got into that. Too much going on with the family around!

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  22. Glad you are going to keep the kids. The honesty of your post. You have a knack at writing entertaining - yet "real" posts.

    Lisa
    Daily Style Finds

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  23. you know sometimes when I'm putting the kids in their car seats and they are crying and/or fighting when I close the door before I get into the car, that moment of silence is oh too sweet, hehe.

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  24. Carrie @ Curly Crafty Mom15 March, 2016 08:05

    If kids weren't so cute, we'd be in trouble! lol! I have a 7 year old girl and a 9 year old boy and lately they have been fighting with each other all the time! ahhh! I hope they learn to like each other someday ;)

    Carrie
    curlycraftymom.com

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  25. Oh man we all have at least one of these nights, right. Honesty is my favorite and it sounds like you really did make the best you could out of it. I love that you said I let them have it. You totally should have done just that :). The silence after the correction is rather sombering though.

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  26. She definitely has her own sense of awesome. I tell her every morning that she only gets one crazy in her outfit. She doesn't like that too much.

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  27. All the sides have been seen. Transparency all the time.

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  28. So true, isn't it..they are just cute little things, learning their way through life. Thanks for stopping by!

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  29. And oh so sadly true! Thanks for stopping by!

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  30. I love that prayer...pouring your peace over me...that's beautiful, I'm definitely going to hang on to that one!

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  31. OH, that sweet sound of silence after I have said my peace is my favourite!

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  32. It's so disappointing when you build something up in your mind, you anticipate such greatness, and then it just flops. I know I've had many moments like this and the disappointment, along with annoyance and exhaustion, just makes me a raging woman/mother. After the moment passes, I feel sadness, upset with myself, and worried that my children will remember me as an angry mom. I thank you for your honesty. We all feel like this sometimes but learning what helps us, such as having some quite time in your case and for me it's going for a run, so that we have fewer moments like this. It's all just part of parenthood, the good with less good.

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  33. I totally agree and hear you on the whole being remembered as the raging mom. Those moments are getting fewer and far between but sadly it is something that I do when I'm mad :( I can't wait until the weather smartens up- a run outside in the sun sounds fabulous!

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  34. I love the quiet moments, I really treasure them. At the moment my son is a toddler so still naps and I feel so happy as I get a few moments in the day of quiet time to recharge for the rest of the day, haha.

    I'm sorry your evening didn't go as planned - it's always hard when we have built something up in our heads and it doesn't turn out like we expected. But it's great you were able to feel better on the drive home.

    Away From The Blue Blog

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  35. That quiet time during naps is to be coveted! Glad you can profit from it!

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  36. We've all been there. You handled it like a champ.

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