Linking up with my lovely Canadian blogging friend, Shaunacey today for a moment of gratitude, which feels like an appropriate way to start the week after a month of stress. Well, for me anyway.
A chapter is closed. Enfin.
Our Lucia had her MRI, we got the results, saw her brain and the beauty of.....life. The thing is, I know that this won't be the only chapter that will likely cause me many sleepless nights of knotted-up stomach in anxiety and neck breakouts (WTF- I am almost 40, why am I breaking out?) during her life. I am certain there will be more hurdles to surmount in her journey with a growth hormone deficiency. But this chapter, my friends, is done.
What was found in that beautiful brain of hers, was that the bowl in which the pituitary gland sits didn't develop into a bowl and would have caused issues with the secretion of the growth hormone, more or less. That's the simplified, non-medical Deena version account, by the way.
So while this may sound strange, this is what I wanted to hear. You see, the MRI was done to find out the why and I wasn't at all worried about it until our new paediatric endocrinologist mentioned that the growth hormone deficiency could have been caused by tumours. And of course, that's all I have been able to focus on for the past year. So yes. I was scared shitless and dreading every moment of this experience. We also had a minor heart attack during the appointment when the doctor went on to ramble about an incidental finding (yes, my mind went to scary places) which turns out that our lovely Lucia has something called a Chiari 1 Malformation, meaning in a Deena level understanding, that her brain grew closer to her spinal chord than normal and could cause issues with swallowing, headaches, dizziness, morning nausea and such. He spoke with the neurologist about this and isn't concerned. Apparently many people have this condition but it goes undiagnosed because not everyone has the opportunity to have an MRI.
I am grateful that our family doctor was on the ball enough when Lucia was 6 months old and not growing much and recommended her to a paediatrician.
I am thrilled that she has responded to the treatment and has been growing like a weed ever since we started treatment 3 years ago.
I am thankful that I have a supportive husband that listens to me when I am my least rational and gives me back rubs when I'm stressed.
I love that Willis and the rest of our family have embraced her nightly needles and are there to cheer her on when she needs it, help her give the needle to her stuffies or even take one themselves to show her she can do it.
I am feeling fortunate that this is all we have to worry about. Things could be much worse.
and lastly, and honestly, I think most importantly, I feel blessed to have people..and even if said people are far removed from my world or my close circle of family and friends...the support makes want to cry. Former students, former parents of students, colleagues, people we grew up with, people I know through other people, extended family....regardless who they are, it makes me smile to see the likes and the love that come for our little lady.
So yes, I am feeling extremely grateful and mostly, the love is felt and that is a wonderful feeling.