Guiltless-me

by - February 22, 2016


My goal for Lent was to focus on the betterment of me in four categories: the physical self, the intellectual self, the spiritual self and the mental self.  You can read about my own word goal for the year here .
This past week I have been doing focusing on my mental health which gave me a huge revelation: I need to get over feeling guilty about taking time for myself when I know I need it.

We went to Edmonton last week for a little family vacation and last minute, Dan had to fly to Winnipeg on the final day.  Which meant I had to do the last day with just the kids and the 5 hour drive home.  Thank goodness my kids are generally well behaved and easy to handle, but it is tiring to parent alone.  Especially in Ikea.
So why is it, that when Dan offers to take the kids for a couple hours when he got back home on the weekend that I felt selfish for the 3 hours of alone time, WHEN I HAD JUST PARENTED 3 DAYS ALONE.


My husband is a capable parent.  Why do I need to feel like I'm taking care of him too?  Why do I feel like I need to be EVERYWHERE they go?


How many of us plan out meals for our husbands or line up activities for them when we're gone out for a few hours of rejuvenation with the girls? Why do we do that?  Why do I feel the need to cut my Red Lobster/Winner walk dates with my friends short because I feel the need to ALWAYS be with my family?

I need to remember that by taking those few hours of solitude, I am recharging my batteries so I can be a better mom.  Everyone wins, really.  Kids get quality time with Dad, I get shit done and everyone is happy.

I have come to realize that I need to work on being a more guiltless-me.  I know the importance of taking care of myself, so why can't I just go with it and get over the fact that maybe I'm not needed ALL THE TIME.

Reads and recommends of the week:

My blogging friend, Lisa recommended this book.  I'm intrigued because it links in my spiritual goal as well.  I currently have it on hold for the audio copy.  I think this would be a good listen whilst I drive.







A newer blog that I've started following, Beth from
Our Pretty Little Girls, wrote a really good post about her realization about her seasonal depression and how she deals with it.  

I picked this book up this past weekend...I think it was written just for me.  #1- I hated the Konmari book that it is parodying and #2- Fbomb in the title.


It really is important that we pay attention to what we need and sometimes that means concentrating on the me instead of everyone else in your care.  And for me, that means getting rid of the guilt.  Any tricks of the trade to share with me today?

*   *   *   *   *   *   *

In the next couple weeks, I'm going to cover how I'm working on my physical self, which means fitness but also style.  The Blended Bloggers have put together a fun style challenge which goes with my whole theme of developing your personal style.  Each prompt was given by a specific blogger (we all picked a look that best represented our go-to style) and then on the date, that blogger will feature their look on the Blended Blog and all the participating bloggers, through a link up will showcase how they styled it on their personal blogs.  I think this is awesome because it will show how you can wear these looks at different ages, different careers and even different climates.  If you're a blogger, we'd love for you to link up too.  If you aren't, we'd love to see your looks on any social media platform by using the hashtag with your picture!  Can you guess which prompt is mine?


Linking up with Tuesday Talk and Bloggers Who Inspire Me

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41 comments

  1. Taking time for you is so important. Isn't it wonderful to have a capable partner to be with the kiddos?!

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  2. Living on Cloud Nine28 January, 2018 22:21

    You literally sound like me, my family gets my all, I still lay out my teenagers clothes but working on that one since they are going away to college soon! Mom guilt is so very real but I do take more time for me than I used to so can we say progress...?? Have a super day!!

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  3. we might be twins... I'm so so so so guilty of 1. not taking enough time for myself and 2. feeling guilty when I do. WHY?!?!!!!? Gotta work on that!

    Simply Shaunacey

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  4. We need a hotdog date. I think you are the graphic tee or bright pants.

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  5. Great post. I think it is a mom thing. You have a kid and along with it comes a sh*t ton of guilt.

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  6. Oh, guilt. I think it's been the driving force for most of my life. It seems to come with the parenting territory. Agree with everything you said here - you have to take time for yourself and let those husbands do their thing!

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  7. I definitely struggle with all of this too!!!

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  8. Oh I need to read that last one. Too funny. Yes to the guilt and the needing to be everywhere. I needed that reminder.

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  9. Love the style challenge and can't wait to see yours! There's nothing selfish about taking time to yourself. Everybody (especially parents) need it. Sounds like you're a very selfless person. Reading this makes me hope in one day as good of a mother as yourself. Plan your time alone, and maybe you'll feel a little less stressed since you're prepared.

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  10. The style challenge sounds great, and I can't wait to see what you ladies come up with!

    Shauna

    www.lipglossandlace.net

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  11. LMAO. My husband is like a huge kid. Taking him to the grocery store is an experience. I definitely take care of him, and yes, yes, YES to meal planning. I think he thinks I am a kitchen magician which is why I sarcastically refer to myself as one.

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  12. Such great thoughts, I do the same exact thing. Why do I treat him like a babysitter instead of a parent?! Thanks for sharing my post <3!

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  13. Your Lenten goals sound so purposeful and focused.

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  14. I really like how you have intentionally established goals in specific areas to accompany Lent. Great posts, friend!

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  15. Working on yourself (including take TIME for yourself) is majorly important- good for you, lady!

    -Ashley
    Le Stylo Rouge

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  16. I enjoyed reading your post. I struggle with feeling like I need to be everything to my husband and my mom - a lot of the times. I don't have kids - so I don't have that additional need tugging at me - but I am one that wants to please everyone ahead of myself - and I am working on it. I am not sure if it is the "woman" instinct - or what. Good for you for taking time for yourself.

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  17. Someone just wrote about what do you do for yourself. But I agree as a mom we feel like we need to be everywhere all the time. But taking time for us is important. My time is at the gym, I get it twice a week and I cherish it, I can be myself, no one needs me to do anything for them and I can just focus on me. And MNO once in a while that helps. And I just volunteered to be part of a planning committee for a local charity, something that I used to do before kids and I'm happy to be getting back to it.

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  18. Do it, girl!!! Though I think part of the need to want to do it all and be there comes from wanting to maintain control. Maybe you're a bit of a perfectionist? I know I'm that way!! Want it done and done right!! Lol...! But everyone needs a break from time to time. Hope you discover a new self in you that allows for the well deserved "me party."


    Amber
    All the Cute
    Abstract & Ornate Floral Print...

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  19. Well, I hate to admit it, but I am kinda glad to see a seasoned pro like yourself still goes through this sort of thing. Makes me feel....normal.

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  20. I don't know how I'd survive otherwise!

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  21. You are right, I am one of those two. And yes, hotdog dates are in order. Asap. Text me back.

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  22. Especially when the husbands are so very able to. I need to give Dan more credit, I think.

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  23. Aw, thanks....so very sweet of you. I think you'll be a great mom because you have a great sense of humour. Well, I get that from your writing style anyway :)

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  24. bahahah, that's awesome. Freaking men. That's all. Today I was sick on the couch from 430-830 and felt super guilty for not getting shit done. Ah well.

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  25. You may borrow it when I'm done. Meet you at le patisserie.

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  26. It'll be neat because we are all so very different!

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  27. YES! Pleasing everyone ahead of yourself..that's exactly it. Let me know if you make any progress. I need help

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  28. I'm trying and so far so good. I almost feel like it's too much though. Ah well.

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  29. You got it, I'm a total perfectionist and will re-clean the bathroom after hubby has (shhhhhh...he doesn't know that). Oy.

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  30. So very true and sillily very hard to do.

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  31. Omg, I hope you are feeling better. hugs!!!

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  32. Rasa Virviciute28 January, 2018 22:22

    Loved this post! Great challenge! xo

    www.aimeroseblog.com

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  33. Love reading your mommy guilt story. I often feel guilty of something, not spending enough time with the girls, not seeing my parents as much as I should, not having enough time to host friends, not doing enough professional reading, not getting to the chiropractor, etc. I think this is something many women are working towards learning about themselves and how they can cope with these constant pulls in every direction. I always try to tell myself that I am a person apart from my family and Logan and I are a couple that needs time away from the kids, otherwise we might not know/like each other when the kids are all grown up and gown. Great post.

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  34. So true, this isn't the only aspect in life where I feel the guilt too. I didn't even think of all those other ones!

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Have a lovely day!