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Feeling all the Feels

On Sunday night I sat down to write my post for Monday and before I even had a chance to start I had to abandon what I was doing to adult.

Poor Lucy has been out of commission since last week and has been hit with every end of the sick stick.  And well, if you are a parent, you know how hard it is to adult when you yourself are coming down with whatever it is your child picked up because, come on, how do you not snuggle them when they're feeling ill and thusly take on all their germs.

So I snuggled next to her in her humidifier tent where she was content to sleep for two nights.  Which means that I haven't slept either.
And well, if you know me, you know that I don't do well on little sleep.  Nevermind my body needing the rest to combat whatever germ monster it is that has won us, but I need sleep to not feel like a zombie with dagger eyes who has urges to ninja kick people at random.

On Monday I felt a little guilty for not putting together whatever it was I had planned to blog about. But for the life of me, I couldn't will myself to do anything.  Which got me thinking, maybe it wasn't just being too sick to come up with my post.  What else is going deep down in the confines of me?
And given any chance to get all reflective and thoughty, I'm all over it.  So I puzzled and puzzled until my puzzler was sore.  This is what I came up with that was really going on:

I'm feeling:

Melancholic...last time I saw Grams last year was around now and naturally I'm playing that out again.
Sad.....I'm missing my friend, Celine, who left us 2 years ago today.  I had the chance to chat with her mom at my parents' party and that felt good, but man, do I ever miss her.  You will never be forgotten, Celine.
Lethargic.....maybe it's the nostalgic sadness or the snow, but I have lost all motivation for much of anything. Except watching Netflix and drinking wine. much crazy going on in the world and even in the lives of some of our friends. In a weird way, that makes me grateful for the normal my world is right now.
Loved and in love....most days I want to punch my husband, in a loving way, but when I'm sick I feel extra needy and Dan does a good job of taking care of me, which isn't an easy feat because when I'm fatigued, I usually take my evil out on him.  But he's tough, like bald Mr. Clean tough, so he's good at deflecting it (read...ignoring my antics). So ya, I feel loved, which makes me feel more in love. And I probably should celebrate that, our 11 year wedding anniversary is coming up soon.
Cozy.......a snow storm brewing outside while I'm sitting cozy warm by the fire and Christmas tree, listening to Christmas music.   melodically bowing to Adèle's greatness in her new album
Stabby .... because I would sure like to sleep and I would also like to not pee my pants a little every time I sneeze. Or cough.

So that's where I'm at, friends.  I will do my best to come back on Friday in full form.  


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