Mommy Diaries: Leslie
Our second last blogger is Leslie, a lovely lady I met through the challenges and one of our Style Me Bloggers. I love her voice in her writing and was thrilled when she offered up a post last week!
When Deena first described
the Mommy Diaries series and extended an invitation for her blogger buddies to
participate, I was eager to write a post with some of my own “sage mothering
advice”. But the more I thought about my
mommy-hood, I decided that I might not have done anything in raising my two
daughters, Lauren now 28 and Brennyn now 30 that would be helpful or pertinent
to today’s young mother. So I dismissed
the idea. Then after I read the posts
written by our mutual friends, I emailed Deena to see if she might have room
for one more mom on the bandwagon. And
she did! So here I am.
I have always said that God
gave me daughters for a reason…the reason being that I would be raising my
girls pretty much on my own. For a lot of their childhood, my daughters were
without a strong father figure to balance my mothering. I was
kind of the mom and dad rolled into one often-exhausted, grumpy, impatient
parent.
When began writing this
post, I called my daughters to ask them for their opinions about the one thing
they thought I did most right as
their mother. I had an idea in my mind of
what I thought I had done right but I was interested to see if they would say
the same thing.
Lauren said that I taught
them how to do things around the house.
When I heard that, I was worried; as a perfectionist with obsessive
compulsive disorder, I was often a real taskmaster at home. But she went on to say that I showed them how
to do things that would normally have fallen to a man/husband/father to
do. Climbing on the roof to fix the AC
every year. Fixing things around the
house. Cutting the grass, using the weed
eater (which is the most confounded piece of equipment I have ever used),
changing a flat tire. Although Lauren is
very happily married, and not yet a mother, she is the one who assembled their
IKEA furniture and hooks up all of their electronic devices. She can fix anything! So I am certain, if she has daughters, Lauren
will raise them to be strong and fiercely independent.
I asked Brennyn what I did
right as a mom and she replied that I was always a good listener. And that I offered good advice. When I heard that, I giggled. Lauren has said that sometimes I offer too much advice when she only needs
someone to listen to her concerns not
resolve them for her. It is interesting
how one daughter can view things one way and the other daughter perceives
things differently. Brennyn isn’t
particularly handy around the house but she is always level-headed and can be
very logical in an emergency. On days
when I feel like my world is falling apart, Brennyn can console me and get me
back on track. Now she is teaching my
four-year-old granddaughter, Cady to be independent and to think for herself.
It’s interesting how my
daughters came up with totally different responses to my query. To top it off, the advice I had thought to
offer new mothers wasn’t either of the things my daughters said I did
right! I would say I instilled a sense
of responsibility in both of my babies.
A strong work ethic. The desire
to do their best at everything they do.
As little ones, Brennyn and
Lauren had chores to do. We always had
pets for which they shared most of the care.
They had to make their beds, clean their rooms and bathroom, put their
clean clothes away and later, do their own laundry, set the table, clean the
kitchen. They both started working as
soon as they were 16, so they learned to balance their time. They bought their own first cars, their gas
and insurance because I didn’t have the means to do it for them. And when it came time to pay the household
bills, I had the girls help me. One time
I even took my paycheck out of the bank in cash and brought it home so they
could put the money into each of the envelopes to pay all of our bills. Of course this was before online
auto-pay. Sadly, when we got to the end
of the money, we weren’t to the end of the bills. That was an eye-opening life lesson.
I am still learning how to
be the best mother I can be. My own
mother was strong and independent, especially when she was a young woman and
now as much so at 88 years old. She was
a chemist back in the 1950s when most women who worked outside the home were
nurses or teachers. Mom raised my sister
and me to think for ourselves and be prepared for whatever life might offer. I remember wanting to take home economics in
high school and Mom said she could teach me how to cook at home. I took mechanical drawing, typing and
shorthand instead. Then got to college
and didn’t know how to wash my clothes.
So what is my advice to
young and not-so-young mothers? Listen
to your children. Offer them advice but
not too much. Insist they clean their
rooms. Allow them to have pets they can
love and care for. Show them how to fix
things and do things around the house, cooking and ironing included. Teach them to think on their feet, how to
problem solve and be resilient. Let them
learn to work and play. Encourage them
to be their very best and do their very best.
And love them every single day.
You can follow Leslie's blog here and her lovely daughter, Lauren's' blog here
4 comments
Oh, Deena! Writing this post was such a great experience. Thank you for allowing me to be a part of the Mommy Diaries. I have been asking everyone what one thing they think I did right as a mommy and have been so touched by their varying answers. I guess I did a few things right! Thank you, Sarah and Lana for your sweet comments.
ReplyDeleteWhat a lovely post from Leslie! So glad she decided to write about her experiences. Love the part about still learning to be the best mother she can be. It's definitely a life long process!
ReplyDeleteOH I love this Leslie! Such a great post and asking your daughters, what a great idea. Thanks for sharing :)
ReplyDeletelove this and love that you got input from your girls! I have no doubt you were/are a wonderful momma! thanks for sharing
ReplyDeleteHave a lovely day!