I "met" Carrie during one of the style challenges and was instantly drawn to her kind and compassionate persona. I have thoroughly enjoyed getting to know her. She blogs over at A Lovely Little Wardrobe and you can look forward to much more Carrie as we scheme some future linkups.

Love is a Verb
Have you ever heard the phrase “Love is a Verb?” If love is
a verb, have you ever thought about what means? It’s a different train of
thought than the typical idea of love. Normally, love conjures up emotions and
thoughts of romance or strong affection. We love big and loved to be loved big!
Those who we love most deeply can be a spouse, children, parents and even a
close friend. Our lives are blessed with having people to love and being love
in return.
So what do you do when love stops? Not your love for someone
but their love for you? What if it is the end of love or the withholding of
love that comes from those closest and most dear to you?
Those are questions that never crossed my mind {at least not
in serious thoughts} until 2011. That year I endured the darkest and most
painful days, weeks and months of my life.
It was in the spring that the volatile relationship with my
daughter came to a head and ties with her were severed. She no longer wanted me
in her life. I could say that I was innocent and her rejection of me was
totally her fault but that would not be true. Relationships are not done solo
therefore I was not innocent and I had hurt her. Life had hurt her. Grief set
in for me. Mourning the loss of love can hurt deeply. With no foreseeable
mending in the future, I was continually baffled how to live as a failure in
the role of mom. Grieving allowed me to heal, which birthed into hope. Hope for
a restored relationship…. one day! One day came in August 2013. Small
beginnings emerged to develop a new and mending relationship.
Spring gave way to summer. On a beautiful hot day with
cloudless blue skies there was darkness lurking behind the beauty that I could
see visually. Another blow! I didn’t see it coming and I didn’t expect it but
now my husband wasn’t sure he wanted to be married to me any longer. The
stresses of military separations, combat zones, bounties on his head left him
in crisis. His crisis lead him to self medicate in unhealthy ways which
distorted his thinking. Though the skies were clear, his thoughts were cloudy –
dark and cloudy. Grief over took me again. Grieving, I learned was a gift and
blessing. Grieving what was in the past in order to embrace and move forward in
the new present and hopefully future settled my heart. I was able to maneuver
through each day, yet never knowing what bomb might go off in our fragile
relationship.
Thankfully, my husband came to his senses, much like the
Prodigal Son {Luke 15:11-31}. The love that I thought was lost was restored and
revived. I learned that love is much more than a feeling, it a verb and it
causes one to act. It was love that allowed me to stand firm and believe that
the darkness can be changed by the light. It was love that allowed me to
forgive and be forgiven. It was love that allowed me to fight for my husband
and fight for my daughter. It was love that drove me to pray for hearts to be
changed. It was love that changed me and changed them.
And I remember this: Most important of all, continue to show deep
love for each other, for love makes up for many of your faults. 1 Peter 4:8
6 comments
Wow, what a powerful post. Carrie, I'm so sorry you have had to go through these painful experiences - however, they have helped shape you into the wonderful woman you are today! Deena, thanks for sharing this post from Carrie - it's a great one!
ReplyDeleteThank you, friend! It is so good to share this story - it helps to remind me that there is beauty in ashes.
Deletebeautiful post Carrie. Thank you so much for sharing such a personal and heartfelt experience. XO
ReplyDeleteThank you! It is liberating to share the pain and restoration.
DeleteGreat, inspiring post Carrie!! Thank you for sharing these difficult times with us! Hugs!!
ReplyDeleteI agree that love is a verb. And I too, am amazed how much love can be found in grief.
ReplyDeleteHave a lovely day!