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On love- Carrie

I "met" Carrie during one of the style challenges and was instantly drawn to her kind and compassionate persona.  I have thoroughly enjoyed getting to know her.  She blogs over at A Lovely Little Wardrobe and you can look forward to much more Carrie as we scheme some future linkups.



Love is a Verb

Have you ever heard the phrase “Love is a Verb?” If love is a verb, have you ever thought about what means? It’s a different train of thought than the typical idea of love. Normally, love conjures up emotions and thoughts of romance or strong affection. We love big and loved to be loved big! Those who we love most deeply can be a spouse, children, parents and even a close friend. Our lives are blessed with having people to love and being love in return.

So what do you do when love stops? Not your love for someone but their love for you? What if it is the end of love or the withholding of love that comes from those closest and most dear to you?


Those are questions that never crossed my mind {at least not in serious thoughts} until 2011. That year I endured the darkest and most painful days, weeks and months of my life.

It was in the spring that the volatile relationship with my daughter came to a head and ties with her were severed. She no longer wanted me in her life. I could say that I was innocent and her rejection of me was totally her fault but that would not be true. Relationships are not done solo therefore I was not innocent and I had hurt her. Life had hurt her. Grief set in for me. Mourning the loss of love can hurt deeply. With no foreseeable mending in the future, I was continually baffled how to live as a failure in the role of mom. Grieving allowed me to heal, which birthed into hope. Hope for a restored relationship…. one day! One day came in August 2013. Small beginnings emerged to develop a new and mending relationship.

Spring gave way to summer. On a beautiful hot day with cloudless blue skies there was darkness lurking behind the beauty that I could see visually. Another blow! I didn’t see it coming and I didn’t expect it but now my husband wasn’t sure he wanted to be married to me any longer. The stresses of military separations, combat zones, bounties on his head left him in crisis. His crisis lead him to self medicate in unhealthy ways which distorted his thinking. Though the skies were clear, his thoughts were cloudy – dark and cloudy. Grief over took me again. Grieving, I learned was a gift and blessing. Grieving what was in the past in order to embrace and move forward in the new present and hopefully future settled my heart. I was able to maneuver through each day, yet never knowing what bomb might go off in our fragile relationship.

Thankfully, my husband came to his senses, much like the Prodigal Son {Luke 15:11-31}. The love that I thought was lost was restored and revived. I learned that love is much more than a feeling, it a verb and it causes one to act. It was love that allowed me to stand firm and believe that the darkness can be changed by the light. It was love that allowed me to forgive and be forgiven. It was love that allowed me to fight for my husband and fight for my daughter. It was love that drove me to pray for hearts to be changed. It was love that changed me and changed them.

And I remember this: Most important of all, continue to show deep love for each other, for love makes up for many of your faults. 1 Peter 4:8

Comments

  1. Wow, what a powerful post. Carrie, I'm so sorry you have had to go through these painful experiences - however, they have helped shape you into the wonderful woman you are today! Deena, thanks for sharing this post from Carrie - it's a great one!

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    Replies
    1. Thank you, friend! It is so good to share this story - it helps to remind me that there is beauty in ashes.

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  2. beautiful post Carrie. Thank you so much for sharing such a personal and heartfelt experience. XO

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    Replies
    1. Thank you! It is liberating to share the pain and restoration.

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  3. Great, inspiring post Carrie!! Thank you for sharing these difficult times with us! Hugs!!

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  4. I agree that love is a verb. And I too, am amazed how much love can be found in grief.

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