Good Grief and Good Byes

by - December 02, 2013

Good Grief

Monday I was at a staff retreat and was  in a very good place- spiritually- when I found out the news that Celine had passed away.   At the retreat, we had been discussing, among other things- wonder and awe in the face of Godly things in our world, and our images of Jesus.  How we see him.  I picked the image of Jesus comforting a child- because to me he is with us all through our life; in joy and in pain.  We also talked about the lyrics to the song, I Can Only Imagine.

Surrounded by Your glory, what will my heart feel
Will I dance for you Jesus or in awe of you be still
Will I stand in your presence or to my knees will I fall
Will I sing hallelujah, will I be able to speak at all
I can only imagine.

The following day while leaving work, I just happened to look down at my rear wheel of my car and noticed a card of some sort in the snow.  I picked it up- it was laminated and on one side was an image of Jesus and on the other was a poem of sorts.

Strange?  Eerie?  Coincidence?
Wonder and awe got me again.

She is not gone- she is now everywhere and in everything.  Her friends and family carry around memories of her that will be passed on.  One day we will be with her again, but for now we must wait and not stop living. We need to reach out to one another and pay attention.  Get your head out of your own ass and make connections- talk to people, ask how they're doing...sorry, I have also experienced a lot of anger in this grieving process....
But mostly? Love.  Love people and let yourself be loved by others.
Really, that's the most important lesson of all.

Good Bye

It feels like I've been trying to formulate this post for many days.....but when it comes down to finally writing it- I can't seem to come up with words that do her justice.

Celine was that friend who you knew would always be there.
She had a million friends, which was evident at the packed, standing room only funeral on Saturday. Devotion
Her laughter, her sense of humour, her sarcasm and her wit made you want to spend hours with her.
She was that person that you know you could trust, you could turn to and you knew you wouldn't be judged.

I am at a loss.

The last time I saw her was when we did her and Melissa's picture for the 30 somethings photo shoot in May.  We had a great visit, just like no time had passed and I had never moved away.  To me, Melissa and Celine were two peas in a pod; they were the ones I grouped together.  You know those girls that you grow up with and even though time and distance separate you- it never really seems to matter?  I felt like, when the three of us got together, I had never moved away- they had a way of making you feel a part of everything. That's what I think I admired most about Celine- her ability to make everyone feel needed, wanted and loved.
In our email exchanges following that visit, she had a tough time choosing a photo and settled on the one I hate the least.  So very Celine- always humble, blushing before the compliments are even given out.

Celine- you were always beautiful to me and I feel grateful and blessed to have called you friend for 20 years.  A piece of you will live on in me forever.

I know I posted this picture once already- but how can you not see her beauty in it.

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Have a lovely day!