3 purple lies

The relationships that matter.

A relationship should be 70/30.
I remember Dan's parents mentioning that when we first started dating.  You give 70%, expecting to receive 30%: that is how you make a relationship work.  How's that for listening to the potential inlaws!!!! I should get bonus points.

This week I spent more time putting a priority on my relationship with my husband, which is probably the bond that gets put on the back burner the easiest in this house.  It's crazy how the workings of a relationship can change once you're married, acquired kids and a career.  My how the times have changed.  I would definitely say that back in the day, I would practice that 70/30 mantra.  We were always thinking of ways to make the other smile and it obviously worked for us-hence the marriage, kids so on and so forth.
So our story continues and it may be slightly more neurotic, but it's still a great story and it's worth putting the time in.  We went back to Scrabble and wine dates last night, we snuggled on the couch, we talked and actually paid attention to what the other was saying.  It felt good to remember why I fell in love with him in the first place.  And I really think it was good for us to remember that when you invest time into your relationship, it will grow and be stronger.

That is the truth I've found for all the important relationships in my world.  I know I can't balance them all and there are some friendships that eventually are lost, but life changes, people move on, people change and there's not much you can do about that.  What I've realized the most about myself is that I don't have much patience any more for the energy sucking relationships.
 Do you have any of those in your life?  How do you deal with them?
You know, the constant neediness or the ones who don't put in any time and expect it all back in return?  There are people that I'm never going to get and I've learned to stop dwelling on that and focusing more on the strong relationships I've been able to build.

All this reflecting has led me to think a lot about my Grandma Diehl in the past week because I believe she got it.  Relationships were first and foremost.  Her husband and her children loved her and took care of her until the day she died.  She had grandchildren and great grandchildren constantly surrounding her with love.  She had great friends, many of whom would be considered family and I think that she built a remarkable community around her and Grandpa.  If someone were to look at her life on paper, they would see that despite not being overly successful in careers- they built their lives on something much stronger and everlasting: relationships that matter.

This is how I want my life to be and what better model to have than that of my Grandma.


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Have a lovely day!