Comforting things

girl talk.

Obviously when you get a group of 6 besties in 2 adjoining hotel rooms the topics are going to be plentiful and are going to vary: from first kisses to marriage (somehow we could remember each other's first kiss but not the wedding songs), from breastfeeding to school choices (in which we watched Carmen pump while we addressed our fears of our kids stepping out into the big big world).   Anyway, the list goes on (as did the wine).
I love how we can have such deep roots in our friendships (some over 25 years), but have such different parenting styles.  You can learn so much just by listening to others and hearing their stories. One story that came out often was how we were managing our busy lives and how we trying to find happiness in that.
Balance.

When I start to think about this, I often drift off into thoughts of happiness.  Because I equate balance with happiness.
I try to remember a time when I was insanely happy.  Ecstatic with life.  Pleased with every single aspect.

High school?  Was always looking forward to being done or worrying about whose party I'd attend. Nah.
University?  Apart from studies, it was pretty laid back and stress free.  Meeting new friends, traveling, learning, dreaming of possible careers.  This may be the winner.  I loved feeling like the pages in my book of life were blank and I was about to create an incredible masterpiece.  But did I have balance? Likely not.
What about that transition into career and grownuphood?  That was scary.  I remember feeling unsure about my choices, but I also recall being thrilled that I had control over my life and I had a pay cheque to prove it.  Career overpowered everything at that point, so I don't think there was balance.  I think in my first year of teaching I did 4 or more extra curricular activities.  Ridiculous.
Falling in love?  Planning a wedding?  That was also a thrilling time but completely one-sided as I abandoned my love for teaching for my new love of all things Dan.
Starting a family?  Definitely the addition in my life that has given me the most happiness and bliss, that's without a doubt, but it's also at this point now that I'm questioning the balance I have in this world I created.

For me to be completely happy, every detail of my life has to be in complete unison, and I know that hasn't been happening.  The minute I spend more time on work, my relationship with my husband is put aside.  When I put all my effort in my children, my house gets messy and supper isn't made.  It's a constant tug of war and it sometimes frustrates me to feel like I can't do anything right because I have so many roles to play.

So how are things going now with the start of a new school year and some changes, you ask?
Well, if my life were to be a cheque book this is what you'd see; ( like I've ever kept a cheque book balanced...)
*Friendships: annual trip, weekly or bi-weekly movie and once a month supper date.  I have a couple groups of friends to juggle in this and for the most part, feel like I'm doing a good job.  Texting often helps.  Especially with wardrobe updates or ex boyfriend sightings.
*Family: regular visits with our siblings and hopefully starting weekly meals together.  I miss visiting with both of Dan and my brothers/sisters.  We head to P.A often to see parents or Skype.  I'm happy with this. The kids monopolize (in a good way) all our attention from the minute they wake up until the minute they are in bed.  If one of us needs to work, the other parent takes over. Dan still travels a lot so we have to make a point of having a date night and shutting off everything else that is calling us.
*Work: I cut back to 3/4 time this year which has me teaching periods 1,2,3.  Game changer, I tell you.  I'm out at noon, stay longer a couple times a week to get caught up on corrections and other teachery stuff.  I no longer feel guilty correcting at night b/c I've had all afternoon to get stuff done at home.
*Fitness:  Being done at noon gives me time for the gym, thankfully as I wasn't finding the time in the day to do it otherwise.  I have 20 lbs to go for my target weight and I am confidant I can do it.
*Me: One of the benefits of Dan traveling is me having a couple of hours to myself every night after the kids are sleeping.  I can read, work on photos, videos or watch trash T.V.

At this very moment in time, I'm feeling pretty good.  Will that always remain?  I highly doubt it. But for now I will savour this somewhat balanced life I'm living and be grateful that it can be this way..and you know why it is?  Because my friends talk and I take their words to heart and try to implement the things they do into my world.  It's neat to see how taking some of their practices and put them into my play book can change things.  We shouldn't have to reinvent the wheel, should we?


Comments

  1. Best post ever. Hands down. Exactly how I feel. Exactamundo!
    Perfectly said. You just put my thoughts in order :) That's why I love you :)

    ReplyDelete

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