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Showing posts from September, 2010

Moving to the rhythm

When I was a little girl, I was never one to dream about becoming a ballerina or a princess, nope, I would've rather played major league baseball or something a little more... aggressive.  I never took dance, but I wouldn't say I was completely a tomboy.  I loved team sports and playing hard.  Sometime after high school, team sports disappeared from my life (except during the glorious summers of ball).  No ringette, no volleyball.....I miss that part of me.  It was so easy to stay in shape, in fact, I don't think I ever had to think about whether or not I did my 5 days of workouts for the week.
Things are different now.  I have responsibilities at home: there are mouths to feed, floors to clean, social lives to organize.  The list goes on.  Up there on that list is taking care of myself and I've been busting my butt trying to find a routine that I love and alas, I think I'm finally there, years after I've given  up sports teams and have had to do it myself.  I …

The Power of Britney

I remember being 20ish years old, in my second year university in Quebec City and rolling my eyes when I saw Britney Spear's first music video. Trashy. Trampy. Gaudy. Not for me.
But that didn't last long.
I was soon obsessed.  Britney became my go to girl.  Something about her music that was able to pick me up, regardless how I felt.  I loved that she was ripped; so strong.  She motivated me when I was working out.  That's what I wanted.  Strength. Muscle definition. ABS. 
Later a friend gave me a lifesize cutout of Britney that I think her boyfriend had stolen from 7-11 during the Britney Pepsi campaign.  There was also posters and magazines, buttons and pins. Yup, I was all about Britney.  Even when Britney went down, shaved head, paparazzi attacking and all.  In my eyes, she still had it.  In fact, when designing my basement in our current house, I made sure to track down another lifesize cutout of Britney for the workout room.
When she announced her world tour a cou…

Old shoes.

I remember it like it was yesterday. It was grade 8 and I had to have a pair. Everyone had a pair. My bff had an awesome pair in burgundy and I wanted one too. Now, this was likely like all the the fads of our adolescence... Esleep pajamas, polka dotted shirts, Chicago bulls puffy jackets, Mondetta shirts, I could go on but the images are scaring me...
A pair of the oh, so sacred Dr. Martens couldn't easily been like all the other fads. There's no way. I begged, I pleaded. I needed those docs. Well, mom and dad caved. I distinctly remember the trip to Aldo in the big city to get a pair. I chose black ankle boots. Classic. I remember mom cringed while she spent the 120$ on them. It was likely 120$ that my parents didn't have to spare. But I made it worth the money. I wore those babies with everything. Even sweats. Yikes. And long after they were 'out' of style, I kept them around, just in case.

Well, sure enough, this fall is the season of the military/combat boot a…

Detox

I feel like I've had a lot on my plate lately and I think it's starting to wear me down.  My brain has had a lot to deal with in the past year with the crap that life throws at you: accidents, strokes, old age and health scares....  I think finally it's taking a tole on me mentally/emotionally.  I'm wiped. I'm cried out.  I have no energy to put into my friendships, which is odd because I'm normally all over that.  Little things scare the bejebus out of me and I can't stop thinking about how fragile life is and how scared I am to lose it.  These are things that I've normally been able to wrap my brain around but this week they have taken over and consumed me.

So my crappy week is out there, I've blogged it even, so it's even more real.  Now I've got to figure out how I'm going to get out of it.  Normally when I feel like I'm breaking down, there are a couple things that I know I can do that will help heal me.  1-shopping! or 2-time w…

I'm a big kid. Now.

Monday night was Willis' very first organized, unparented activity.  We decided to sign him up for Sports ABC at our local community association.  He was SO excited to get to play soccer or whatever sport it would be that day.  Willis loves to run and play, surely he would adore this.  I wasn't too surprised when he was too shy to join the group of 6 kids in the middle, I knew that eventually he'd warm up to them and want to participate.  I loved watching him do the stretches with everyone....still keeping his distance. Then just like that, he was right in there, tearing up the place.  I haven't been so entertained in a long time, it was hilarious watching him sprint back and forth, back and forth for 30 minutes straight. Seriously, weren't lines and laps supposed to be torture device used at practices?  But not for our Will, he loved it.  Eventually things got a tad out of control (don't they always with a 3 year old) and it was all about the race. The "I…

Balance

I remember before Lucia was born being scared.  Would I love the new baby as much as I love Willis?  Would I be able to find that balance between both of their needs?  Would I still have time for my husband?  Would I still have time for myself?  Those questions were a heavy weight on my shoulders and  I didn't know how it would all turn out. The first two weeks of having two kids were the most difficult.  I remember feeling so overwhelmed and unsure of my abilities. But that didn't last long; overnight my insecurities seemed to disappear.  I'm in a different place with two than I was with just one.  When Willis was born I still needed that precious time away, I somehow needed to maintain my identity, but now that old me is so long gone that I'm quite content to stay home to play, bake, doodle and rock the blanket fort. I'm still the crazy Deena I was 5-10 years ago, but I've found the balance in life to maintain all my loves.  I always wondered how I'd be …

Premiere Week

It was the night before Premiere Week and all through the house,
Deena was acting spastic, like a cat chasing a mouse.
The fall decor was hung on the fireplace with care,
In hopes that the songs of Glee would soon be there.
Willis and Lucia were nestled all snug in their beds,
And the beer was going straight to Deena's head.....

 It's just like the night before Christmas in my head right now: I'm jumpy with anticipation and my head is foggy from the eggnog, except I haven't been drinking eggnog and have been getting sick. But that will not bah humbug my excitement for Premiere Week!!!

All my favourite shows come back this week and more importantly,  I finally have definition to my week and I won't keep forgetting what day it is, nevermind the month.  I now have time at the end of the day that I can look forward to where I can sit relax and most importantly laugh.  Last year husband and I started a Thursday night date night.  We reserved that night for a snuggle on …

Accomplishments

I would say I have done some pretty cool things in my life: beat boys in grade school races, placed in provincial piano competitions, took off on an exchange in grade eleven to assert my independence, became fluent in a language I did not grow up speaking at home, taught my brother and brothers in law and didn't go crazy, hit on the hottie in the green track pants and then married him, birthed two children...
I could go on. Life has been good to me. But why is it, at the end of the day, after weeks of single parenting while husband is away working in Toronto, why is it that getting these two angels to sleep at night, safe and snug in my bed,  feels like the greatest and most important thing I could ever accomplish in life?

Miscommunications

A conversation over email yesterday with my husband nearly resulted in our divorce. He's always getting on my case about skimming emails. Come on, I'm a high school teacher, how do yu think I get through so many essays. Kidding. Kinda. So I skim emails, my bad. Well I guess after today you can add being a bad typer to the same list. Apparently I type without proofreading. Here is the email conversation that transpired between us. See if you can spot the error. Hint *it's in the very first email.

From: Deena
Sent: Wednesday, September 15, 2010 4:07 PM
To: Daniel
Subject: bah
so tired of being with you.

From: Daniel
To: Deena
Sent: Wed, September 15, 2010 4:09:35 PM
Subject: RE: bah Hey – that’s great to hear babe.  Thanks for the pick me up.
From: Deena 
Sent: Wednesday, September 15, 2010 4:54 PM
To: Daniel
Subject: Re: bah
hey crouch- text me when you want to Skype. Maybe seeing your kids will put you in better spirits.
From: Daniel
To: Deena
Sent: Wed, September 15, 2010 5:43:53…

Willis-isms

Each morning usually brings something new out of Willis' mouth and from the minute his bright eyes open, we can usually be guaranteed to be awaken by some oddity.  My favourites are :
Daddy, I have a wedgie.
Mommy, I got you a present.  It's a necklace.
I had a good sleep. How was your day?
I`m a big boy. Soon, I`m going to go to school and learn.
Willis`last statement usually leads me to freeze and realize that holy crap, in two short years my little one will in fact be going to school.  He already walks around with his backpack on saying : I`m a schoolboy.  In the meantime, he is content to sit next to me at the desk while I work and work on his `schoolwork`and he shows it with pride to his Daddy and gives us a glimpse of what kind of big boy he is going to become.
Willis can always make me smile!

Grandma.

The greatest gift my Grandma ever gave me was the gift of culture and when I think about it, my whole life is defined by this gift.  My Grandma's family came directly from St-Quelquechose near Montreal. St-Jérome, je crois.  Her langue maternelle was french but with life and the way things go, she would not speak French at home to her 7 children.  Sure, they learned french in school but it wasn't their first language.  Mom can hold her own in a conversation which is still quite impressive. For some reason it was that French culture that  so easily seeped into the root of who I am.  Perhaps it was that French Immersion Schools are easy to come by as opposed to say, Norwegian or Scottish immersion.  So naturally, the Park kids were put in immersion and immersed we were.  I'm not going to say I loved every minute of it, and I was likely rebellious and too "cool" to learn french at some point.  But also, at some point, it clicked.  I remember going on my exchange in …

From drab to fab.

Yesterday was a blah day.  Must've been the dreary weather making for an equally drab mood.  Nothing red wine couldn't cure.
Today, however, was a perfect day.  Willis was still a little testy but he got rid of the Dennis the Menace attitude by the afternoon and everything was perfect again in life.  Sara and Aiden came over for a playdate in the morning. The boys painted pictures together.  Nothing like a coffee with a good friend to start the day off right.  In the afternoon Aunty Kyla and Kinsey came over and we had an awesome time.  The girls played (okay, they stared at each other) while Kyla and Willis made a craft and then we topped off the afternoon with a visit to the park.  A simple day it was, but it put me in the best of spirits and I easily found that little hop in my step that can be lost after a day in the rain.

La Lucia

Lucia,
When you were first born, your dad and I sat in bed many nights, wondering what kind of girl you will grow up to be; what values we wanted to instill, what morals we wish you to have.  We did this often for your brother as well, listing the admiral qualities we hope he will someday possess.  That was easy for us, envisioning your brother's grace, gratitude, strength.  Boys are born with a quirky confidence and fearlessness.  Girls, on the other hand are more complex, more sensitive.  Your dad, finally having a moment of enlightenment, told me one night that he could at last see the type of girl he hoped you'd become.  You would be the girl that could stand up for herself, that doesn't doubt her abilities and radiates confidence when she strides into the room.  You're the girl that snickers at the boys who feel it necessary to move in when you step up to the plate and then stare in awe when you crack the ball over their heads.  You are assertive, strong minded an…