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Showing posts from May, 2010

A letter to my son.

Within the next couple of weeks, your world will be changed. Everything you've known as normal will no longer be the same with a new little body in the house. We've had 1,027 glorious days with you as our only little munchkin and I'm struggling to figure out how to balance love into the new equation.
You are my first born and every moment that was spent with you since we found out we were expecting has been filled with the wonderment of the unknowns, the firsts, the pure joys that can only be experienced the first time. I know I will love your brother or sister with the same strength as I love you, but at the same time, I feel like you will always have that special place that nobody but you can claim in my heart.
You have been a blessing in our lives. I marvel everyday at how much you learn, at how curious you can be, at how much energy you have. Your memory/skills constantly boggle us, especially when you come out of the blue with words we've never used or me…

Now and Then.

July 2007, 36 weeks prego and I was anxious, scared and naive.  Nothing can prepare you for the unknowns of motherhood. My pregnancy was not glamourous; I was an ogre. Swollen from 28 weeks on, I had to constantly have my feet up or they'd look like they do in that photo. Needless to say, my moldable ankles resulted in hours of fun for Dan.  The pregnancy started off well, but then I started gaining weight and retaining water and well it was all downhill from there. Top it off with an un-airconditioned house during a HOT summer and yuck, I was not in good shape.  Heart burn, hypertension and back pain were a daily reality. Luckily, Willis was born at 38 weeks and I didn't have to go any longer.
This pregnancy, however has been quite different.  It did not start off beautifully. I was blessed with involuntary bulimia for the first four months, followed by not a lot and then the back pain hit and the blood pressure started to rise.  Luckily I listened to my doctor and at about …


Sometimes its easy to get caught up in the negative or more difficult aspects of life;  the whiny child, the messy house, and the junk at work.  But then something happens, something that is bigger than you that renews you and makes you believe again.  These moments happen more often than not but it's hard to recognize them or focus on them when we're consumed by the negative.
Willis seems to think that now would be a good time to hit the terrible twos, with pouty tantrums punctuating the days and pushing to my limits in patience.  But, just when I can't take it anymore, he grabs my hand, looks in my eyes amidst the tears and says "Mommy, you're my best friend, I love you".  So, why then can't I remember those moments when I'm challenged the most? 
Work is the same.  Granted, right now I'm only teaching part time and I happen to be teaching the grade 10s who are a wonderful group.  But there'll be days and moments when I just wonder what I…

A Mother's Day with Willis

Yesterday was the perfect day with my little boy and it was the last time I'd get to spend a "Mother's Day" with just him in my life.  Soon, that will change.
There was nothing out of the ordinary about the day, it could've been a random Tuesday, but having Willis pay special attention to me made the day perfect.  We baked cookies, we snuggled during naptime, we played together, watched a movie together and worked together.  Dan and I also decided that we would take on a project this weekend, like we don't have enough, and move the current office into the piano room in order to make Willis his own playroom.  He was so excited and proud! He did so much work, helping us move things here and there and offer his own creative advice.
Being a mom is challenging and scares the bejeebus out of me daily, but it is also the most rewarding and uplifting job I've ever taken on.  Seeing Willis grow into the creative, energetic, loving little boy that he is makes me wa…

A day of mom

Actually, I've just come off a week of mom...well, more so a week of me mooching suppers off of mom over at Ky's house while Ky is pampered and loved and taken care of. Luckily my mom is so good, that Willis and I could swing by daily for some love and pampering ourselves.
On Thursday I had an interesting conversation with my mom, my aunt Chris and my snister.  We were exploring the whys and the whats of who makes us the way we are; to what degree a person can influence and shape our lives.  Talks turned to mothers and how in some way the way they are raised affects the way they choose to bring up their children, so on and so forth.  Therefore, not only did my mom influence me but there are also remnants of my grandmother in the person I've become.  But, I'd even take it a step further.  I was raised in a close family and there were many wonderful female role models.  My mom's younger sisters, Chris and Judie come to mind.  Growing up, they were always in the pictu…

Memory Maker

Sunday nights find our little family cuddling up for a newly started tradition, which is a reinvented memory of mine from growing up.  Back in the Park household we would wait impatiently on Sunday evenings to see what would be playing on the weekly Wonderful World of Disney.  I remember loving these evenings because we got to watch movies and have a reason to snuggle up on the couch.  I don't recall the exact movies we watched, probably Pollyanna and Bedknobs and Broomsticks, but that doesn't matter, what matters is that now that Willis is more and more a little boy and less and less a baby, and we can start traditions like that for him. Hopefully he'll remember them for the quality time we spend laughing together.
So Sunday evening, with the new T.V set up in our 80% completely finished basement, Dan, Willis and I cuddled up on the couch and watched Disney's Atlantis.  It wasn't exactly a kid's movie, but Willis enjoyed it and got right into the action sequen…

On becoming an aunt.

Becoming an aunt is now up there on my list of most magnificent life moments and I think that it was that Christmas like anticipation of a child that got me.  Waiting anxiously, nervously, gleefully for that phone call from Robbie telling us about the new baby was..... . . .. . painfully long. Obviously not a comparable painful to what a mother giving birth gets to experience, but you get my drift.  I was nervous for my sister and didn't want to her to go through something horrible, maybe that's just the older, protective sister in me, but I just don't like seeing her hurt. But that's kinda out of my control.  The nervousness quickly gave way to relief and pure joy when Robbie called, and man, were we quick to get over to the hospital to meet Kinsey.  What made it even more special was my brother being home for the weekend and getting the chance to be apart of the action.
I was so proud of my sister, so instantly in love with my niece and so grateful for my brother in …